Friday, March 1, 2013

Donna Day 2013


Donna Day
March 1, 2013



So, many of you may know that it is Donna Day on this here internet. Unless you have been living under a rock you KNOW about Donna. You have seen or read at least part of Donna’s Cancer Story. You have heard of or know about Mary Tyler Mom who is the incredibly powerful and brave woman chosen to be Donna’s Mama.

I first read about Donna last summer. Even though all of the 31 installments were written and available I could only read a few at a time. See: I knew how the story ended. And the words on the screen spoke to a part of my soul that, until then, I had mostly kept hidden. It was a painful story to read~ and yet I have read it over and over. It is not EASY to read knowing as we do that Donna did not survive her cancer. But once read: it changes a person in some intrinsic, inexplicable way.

Reading Donna’s story changed ME in some intrinsic, inexplicable way. In all of the ways it does most mom’s who read it I am sure……but for me there was also an instant connection……that hidden part of the soul…..that soul crushing grief that threatened to consume me nearly 5 years prior…..Donna’s Story brought it to the surface……to be felt and lived and explored again.

There is no pain in this world that can compare to the pain of losing a child. And although I had always **intended** to write The Story of a Boy; until I read and reread Donna’s Story I did not have the courage to even try. Too painful it was to go back and almost literally relive the story of my son’s death.

Since I have read Donna’s Story and learned more about her family and fallen in love with them~~~ my own life has continued to move forward. But there in the back of my mind….in a Donna shaped place in my heart I carry her and her family and their amazing grace, strength, perseverance, love and HOPE with me~ as much a part of me as any other profound experience in my life. Donna IS PART of my experience now and she and her family always will be. It is profound to me that Donna was born the day before my own living son was due. Were Donna alive today she and my living son would be the SAME AGE almost to the day.

These last few months have been very trying for me. My sister~ who in some crazy cosmically connected way is also named Donna~ died suddenly and unexpectedly at the young age of 44. The ripple affect of my sister’s death continues to shape and mold me…… I am still processing the grief and the revisiting of the past that came with my sister’s death.

But this post is NOT about grief, or loss, or death. THIS post is about HOPE. It is about choosing hope even when it is hard. It is about choosing to be active and to HELP even when it is hard. It is about what the Donnas' in my life have taught me~ one of whom I have never even met. But that matters not~ she had a profound effect on me just the same.


I will start with my mother Donna 12-27-47 to 9-2-86
She taught me that I am smart and I should not be afraid to use my intelligence.
She taught me to believe in myself.
She taught me that it is possible to live a horrific life and STILL do the best you can.
She taught me that you do not have to tolerate abuse.
She taught me to stand up to bullies, to fight for people who have less than you and to always, always fight for what you believe in~ ESPECIALLY if it is not the popular choice.
She taught me that no matter how bad I have it: someone has it worse.
She taught me that no matter how good I have it: someone has it better.
She taught me to appreciate what I HAVE.
She taught me to love.
She taught me that life is short, it can be snatched away in an INSTANT, and that I should enjoy life and find pleasure, peace and happiness. Every. Single. Day.


My Sister Donna 6-1-67 to 12-21-12
She taught me that the past can be a difficult if not impossible thing to overcome.
She taught me that it IS possible to give too much of yourself.
She taught me that maintaining your OWN health should be of primary importance.
She taught me that it is possible to live a horrific life and STILL do the best you can.
She taught me that you do not have to tolerate abuse.
She taught me to appreciate what I HAVE.
She taught me that it is ok to say NO, it is ok to refuse to involve yourself in other’s self created drama and misery.
She taught me that life is short, it can be snatched away in an INSTANT, and that I should enjoy life and find pleasure, peace and happiness. Every. Single. Day.

And lastly~ and what THIS post is about:
Donna Quairke Hornik 7-20-05 to 10-19-09
She taught me that life on Earth is but the beginning of one’s legacy.
She taught me that there are mother’s in the world who have been through far worse than I~ and still have the courage to share the story.
She taught me that **I** have the courage to share my son’s story.
She taught me that with MY voice I can share her legacy and I can help another child.
She taught me to love my children more, to appreciate their health and to celebrate LIFE with them.
She taught me that life is short, it can be snatched away in an INSTANT, and that I should enjoy life and find pleasure, peace and happiness. Every. Single. Day.
And lastly~ but perhaps MOST importantly:
This little girl, who I never met, who suffered so but loved life DESPITE that…….this amazing, beautiful, powerful little girl taught me that it is ALWAYS possible to CHOOSE HOPE.

Please go to Donna's Good Things.....read and share her story....if you are touched and can: PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY  every penny counts~ and every single child who dies from cancer IS ONE CHILD TOO MANY.

Love and Light,
Ginger


8 comments:

  1. Crying, crying, crying. We are bonded by our love for Donnas. My Mom, too, was a Donna. Thank you for sharing this amazing post.

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    1. thank you for sharing your beautiful Donna with us. You are a most amazing woman!

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  2. beautiful! Love and light to you! xoxo

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  3. Ginger, my heart aches reading this. I am so glad I found you from the beautiful words you left on my site. I would love to hear the story of your son one day when you are ready to tell it. And oddly enough--another loss we have in common--I too, lost my sister just a few short years ago and she was far too young to die. I'm still grieving for her. Donna's story is incredible and yes, full of hope. I am so glad you shared it with your readers. This is such a beautiful post and a beautiful story that needs to be told. Thank you.

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    1. I know this is a really delayed response~ but being newish to the blogging world~ I just wanted to say thank you for your beautiful comments. To date I have written 17 chapters of The Story of A Boy. I would be honored if you read them and share them. Please accept my very sincere condolences in the loss of your sister. In the journey of life~ I now strive to always be able to share the love, the light and perhaps most importantly: The HOPE.
      ~Ginger

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