The story of a boy….well, he was much more than that to me……
Part 6.
This is the 6th in the series. And this is not
really part of the Boy’s story as much as it is part of his mother’s story….
Before I begin; let me say that this post will not be funny.
And it might contain information that upsets you and not in the usual way with
offensive language and politics…..but in a human, sad and guttural way. I may
very well ramble at times and for all of these things: I am genuinely sorry.
Please read Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 before reading this. It will just make more
sense that way.
You see in The Story of a Boy~ we are up to his beautiful
life……but we are also at #6 on the story enumeration. And as the mother of this
Most Special Boy…I can NOT, WILL NOT allow his life story to be told as #6.
You see I hate the #6. And I am not just throwing around the
word ‘hate’ here…. I mean I genuinely and with ALL of my being ABHOR the number
6………and I shall share the reason why. I shall try to be brief …..but brevity
has never been my strong suit.
When I was 8 years old I was dropped off at my father and
step-mother’s house for what was supposed to be a 2 week thanksgiving
visit……….only my mother did not return at the end of the 2 week period…..in
fact she did not return for nearly 2 long, painful, soul killing, horrible
years.
The address # of the house where my father and step-mother
lived was 664……but in my childhood mind that house still lives within me as
666.
For this is the house where pure evil lived. This is the
house where my childhood innocence would be trampled to death. This is the
house where events happened that would forever change my sibling’s upbringing
and mine. This is the house where 4 small, innocent children were beaten and
tortured in every way possible. THIS is the house where hate lived. THIS is the
house that stole the childhood innocence that was me and replaced it with fear,
anger, frustration and DETERMINATION.
We lived there, my siblings and I, for just under 2 years.
But even now~ some 32 years later……….this house still haunts me in my
nightmares.
I hate the #6….I never, EVER buy 6 of anything. I avoid
going in the 6th line at the grocery store: even when no one is
waiting and the other lines are long. My husband laughs at this. It has become
a running joke between us. But in my heart of hearts it is not funny. It is
awful. It is painful. It is real. And it IS what I have spent a lifetime
overcoming.
It is not easy living in a house where you are hated. It is
not easy living with adults that would rather torture you than accept you and
love you. It is not easy to watch your father, who himself has NEVER raised a
hand to you, stand idle and do nothing while the woman he married and her
family treat you like devil’s spawn.
And yet….this is how we lived, my two sisters, my brother
and me……and there were times I was sure that THIS was the house in which we
would die…all of us………and no one would notice.
There were bruises, cuts, stitches, broken bones and broken
spirits that no one noticed….surely our deaths would go unnoticed too.
Not for shock value and not for hate or rage……but just
because like the #6 there I many things I hated after escaping that house…..I
will share just ONE of the horrific things….by far NOT the worst…..but one
example of how we were treated during our stay there.
And so here is the reason that to THIS DAY neither spinach,
nor sour kraut, nor turnip greens of ANY kind have been cooked in the homes of
me or my siblings…….why, to THIS DAY the smell of them cooking brings me
INSTANTLY and painfully back to that house of terror…..
I was 8 and my baby sister was 4. She was a tiny thing~
always had been. My brother was 10, my older sister 12 when we began the end of
our childhood there at 664.
Neither myself nor my baby sister had ever, EVER had a
strong stomach. We weren’t what you’d call “picky” eaters……..but like any 4 and
8 year old would~ we would turn our noses up at the thought of eating cooked
spinach, sauerkraut, collard greens, liver etc.
Unfortunately, for us, these were items frequently on the
menu in the house of evil.
The first time we were forced (and I mean FORCED in every
sense of the word) to eat the above menu items…both of us (quite
unceremoniously) vomited. Right there at the table we vomited. And our father
sent us off to bathe and clean up and our step-mother glared at us with a
hatred that I still to this day cannot name the source of.
And so the next time spinach was on the menu in the house of
evil……our step-mother, with a snarl some might call a smile, scooped a heaping
helping of the nasty cooked greenery onto both my sister’s and my (my other
siblings too) plates. My father excused himself after he hastily completed his
meal…….and my step-mother watched and waited.
Everyone else finished their meals and left the
table….everyone but my sister and me. And we were not permitted to leave the
table until our plates were clean. Well…..a full hour later…..two bites into
the spinach my sister vomited……and (never being one to be able to see someone
vomit without vomiting myself) so did I.
And my step-mother in her evil genius determination decided
that my sister and I had vomited “on purpose” to avoid eating food we did not
like. And she further determined that we would still not be able to leave the
table until we had eaten everything on our plates……vomit and all.
And this dinner ritual repeated itself literally
hundreds of times in the house of evil. I cannot begin to estimate the number
of times we (the four of us~ because WHO can watch someone be FORCED to eat
their own vomit without vomiting themselves) had to do this in the near two years
we lived there.
But I can tell you that I have NEVER ONCE forced ANY child
to clean their plate. We have a “one bite” rule~ try ONE bite if you don’t like
it….you don’t have to eat it: PERIOD.
I can also tell you that my 4 living children have NEVER and
God willing WILL NEVER endure the terror that we lived through in the house of
evil.
I can also tell you that I can (after some years of therapy
and distance from the house of evil) can eat RAW spinach, but I still HEAVE
when I smell it cooking.
And I can tell you that I hate the number 6. I know it is
irrational, I know it may not make sense…….but I do hate it nonetheless.
And so~ the story of a Boy and his BEAUTIFUL life will NOT
be told in Part 6.
6 is where the evil lives.
And my boy, tiny, fragile and destined to change the lives
of his family forever will LIVE in Part 7.
I read this and cried! You are amazing girl. Just amazing. You inspire me...
ReplyDeleteIs that evil person still living? If not, she should be burning in hell. My heart breaks for you and your siblings. And this was not the worst!?! You a truly a STRONG WOMAN!! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteDying...slowly remembering ~ Ging.. Jesus - <3 you
ReplyDeleteOh God.
ReplyDelete